learning to let go of material possessions

10.55pm


question - can you cut yourself off from all material possessions?  did you know that according to buddhism, the origin of suffering is attachment. i know i know we are only human therefore we tend to hold on to our personal belongings or things we love and bought with our hard earned money (or for those rich folks, perhaps with your parents money?) well whichever way you got those items, does it make you very happy, deep down inside? do you go to your wardrobe and stare in amazement at all your wonderful expensive threads or your trendy handbags from milan or even stare lovingly at your bmw? what kinda satisfaction do you get out of it? a feeling of smugness yes?

ok i admit i do love my stuff obviously otherwise why would i even buy those things right? my drawers and cupboards are full. and when i start doing my spring cleaning, oh my goodness, i find clothes that i've totally forgotten about. have you ever gone thru that before? do you sit and wonder how the hell have you've managed to accumulate so much of stuff over the years and still holding on to it, when you hardly wear or use them?and later, once you've sorted your mind out, you finally decide but very hesitantly, to give them away to charity or to your friends/family.

you know, this year itself i've done like 4-5 spring cleaning sessions. i always feel a tinch of pain whenever im giving my stuff away. its like so sad to see my things go. i want to hold on to them if i could and have a huge wardrobe so i can fit everything and anything i want in there without having to do stupid spring cleaning. if i could i would but i cant. on the bright side i tell myself, my things are going to people who are in need of clothing or bags etc. there are people worst off than i am. so i do my bit of charity.

now i try to buy only things that i really want or need. i always remember what oprah said. 3 golden rules which is etched into my mind is -

ask yourself these questions.
1)do you really need it?
2)is it really necessary?
3)how often am i going to be using it?

and after i answer these questions inside my head, i try to switch my mind off and tell myself to be strong, i can do it, just turn and go, dont look back. but  if it was my birthday and my husband tells me to choose what i want, then i will think very carefully what i really really want and then buy it and make sure i use it.  

sometimes when we hold on to things, its considered hoarding. coz we dont want to let go at all. oprah said something like this- "if you didnt use it for a year and if it was lying in your closet all this while, then just get rid of it". well part of me agrees. other part tells me goes "umm...maybe i would need it next year or the following year?" what if....so many what ifs. in the end, i  just keep the item and thats when my crap starts to build up. and now, since i'll be moving out of my condo pretty soon, my husband has been telling me,(over the past 6 months or so), to either throw or give away items or clothing that is old or hardly used. ugh. i feel the pain!! dont you? when my husband does his spring cleaning, he just ploughs thru his stuff without batting an eyelid!! i dont know how he does it, seriously!!

you know people around the world are suffering all because of these so called material possessions. they have to make alot of money or want more money in order to buy all these expensive toys, items, clothings etc. honestly, we ought to learn to let go. coz when we die, we cant take all of it along with us now can we? course not. 

i bet you've met people who like show off their new bags, cars, clothes, condos etc .., at that point in time, tell me what is running thru your mind?  when i face these type of characters, what im thinking is - so what, what the big deal? ok fine, you are happy those things, but im happy too with my non branded stuff. i dont really care. and thats why i dont mix with people who like to show off their wealth or flaunt it infront of me. i have a few super rich close friends but they are so genuine and even though they have loads in their bank, they have never looked down at me or at others. otherwise i wouldnt be mixing with them. im no show off and therefore i do not like show offs. simple as that.


ttfn

11.54pm

moving around

11.56am

ah..another day another dollar. i have been busy packing up my house. so much things to do and to remember. what goes where. which items goes into storage, which ones to bring along with me for the next few months, which goes to my friend's place etc. sigh. sometimes i do hate moving from place to place. when i say place to place i meant from condo to condo. not country to country(but i wouldnt mind tho). i've moved 3 times in the past 6 years since i've been in singapore.

now, having packers pack for you is great, especially when you have alot of crap to be packed. you only have to bark orders to these packers and your things will be quickly wrapped, packed and sealed into boxes and off it goes into their trucks. BING BAM BOOM jobs done so quickly and efficiently. but when you dont have packers doing this for you, its really a back breaking task. i was lucky to have packers in all of my moves but not this round. we only hired a transporter to ferry our stuff to the storage area. oh well, we cant always have everything now can we? would just have to make do right?

you see, my husband and i left kl(which is my hometown) back in 2004, sometime between july and august, for jakarta. we only had a few check in bags and maybe 1-2 boxes of stuff to bring along with us. we found a hotel/service apartment and therefore i neednt have to bring alot of kitchen or bedroom stuff with me, thankfully.

and then mid 2006, we moved to singapore. by then we probably had ard 15-20 boxes. yes, things started accumulating slowly but surely.when we arrived here, we stayed at a hotel in orchard  road for a couple of months then moved into river valley for abt 3 years before settling into bayshore park for another 3 more yrs (and by that time, we had about 67 boxes excluding those that couldnt be packed in).

currently my husband and i are in a transition period where we are going to stay in holland village for a few months and then hopefully find ourselves a proper home to settle in or perhaps rent again. whichever comes first. ugh...all this moving up and down, in and out, at times can drive you crazy. a house in chaos. i dont like a chaotic household. to see things strewn everywhere, untidy, messy and in total disarray. ok i shamefully admit i could be a tad bit OCD(i'll talk abt this subject another day, abt ocd hahaha). my dear husband claims that i am one. oh well. you know frankly speaking, i was never like this when i was living with my parents. even when i was growing up, i never felt that i was a neat freak or had any idea that i could possibly have a lil bit of OCD in me. i suspect it was probably lurking somewhere inside of me and it probably started coming out when i first started living on my own.(which was back in 1995). ho hum.

ok you are probably wondering how many boxes i have this time huh? well its not been finalized yet but i predict about 15 boxes. again excluding those big bulky items that cant be packed in. at this very moment we 13 boxes sealed.  you know i got rid of so much stuff that its not funny at all. big thanks to my dear cousin, who helped me drop off 3/4 of my stuff to salvation army. also thanks to my other friends who helped me ferry back some of my belongings back to kl.

okidoki

ttfn


12.59pm

inconsiderate drivers on the road

2.00pm


have you ever come across jokers who double park their cars? dont you just hate them?? causing jams and what nots. in their flashy cars just to show off to others that they can afford it. they wont even go and park in a proper parking space. what is wrong with these people? i mean if they can afford to drive nice big cars they surely can afford to pay for parking right? i mean come on,really??!

i cant stand this type of people. for example, if you are sitting in the car waiting for somebody and you double park, its not so bad coz there's at least you are in the car and if you are blocking and people honk you because you are blocking their way, you can always move your car so people can pass thru or just move off entirely. dont just double park and then  stray far away from your car and later cause trouble for other drivers. i find that very heartless and inconsiderate of these folks to just hoard the road as if it belongs to them, especially when the road's narrow. 

just the other day,i flagged down a cab n jumped in. the cabbie was grumbling and saying "look at all these cars parked along the roadside, all so expensive looking, but you see, dont want to find parking or park in the carpark. why? because they want to save money, dat few dollars! bloody "kiam siap" buggers (kiam siap in hokkien means stingy)".

like in my hometown, you'd find alot of double parkers too. thats right. alot!! when the road transport officers do their rounds and if an offence has been made and therefore summon the driver, these clowns would go to the transport office to ask for discount! sometimes, after they have been summoned on the spot, they would then try to bribe the officers. either that or if they managed to see these officers doing their walk rounds, they quickly run to their cars(if they have double parked) and drive off and once the officers have gone off, surprise surprise, they come back and double park again. never learn. its the mentality. call yourself a graduate or a politician or whatever you wanna be called, but doing all these despicable things is very unbecoming. what you've learnt, right from wrong, all gone out the window. i guess its the attitute of some people. just dont give a rats ass.

so next time please try to remember to be a little bit more considerate as well as courteous towards others. you dont own the road ok. it is shared by all, it doesnt belong to you. do the right thing.

ok ttfn


3.12pm

egg tarts and fried noodles

2.33pm

day 8. phew made it thru an entire week of blogging. tough work this. hehe. but im not complaining...yet.

anyway, earlier this week, i bought these egg tarts to try (picture A) from a stall called fancy delight and trust me it wasnt a let down. best bit for me was the tart crust. delish! the taste was slightly salty yet sweet enough but not overly sweet and there was a slight crunch to it. the texture of the egg custard was just right. it was soft and not too sweet, and they didnt stintch on the custard unlike some places where they give u a whole lot of the pie crust(or tart crust) and very little egg custard. same goes for the chocolate egg tart. perfect to eat it as it is or even if you put it in the fridge overnite, it still taste just as good cold. or if you like, zap it in the micro for a few seconds and voila! will taste just as fresh as when you first bought it. they have many flavors to chose from like durian, kaya, cheese etc. oh before i forget, i apologise for accidentally mashing up bits of the tarts coz i kept it inside my handbag so thats why it looks like that. heh. anyways i rate these egg tarts - 7/10.


(A)

today, for lunch, we "ta pao" (ta pao in cantonese means have the meal to go or take away)  these two noodle dishes (picture C). the white looking noodles is called singapore fried prawn mee (mee means noodles) and the black one is called char kuey teow. im not a big fan of the prawn mee as it does not appeal to me much . altho i gotta say alot of singaporeans like this dish, i dunno why. now the char kueh teow on the other hand, is one of my fav dishes. not in singapore tho, but in malaysia. somehow its the way they cook it and the taste is different. well you have to try both places, then you tell me.

anyways, after trying out the prawn mee and the char kuey teow, i decided that both were ok only. nothing fantastic or blew me away. i rate these dishes 4/10.


now you can see (picture B), this cut out  was taken off a magazine and stucked onto the stall's glass pane,to show people how popular it is. the man featured was taking my orders and i saw a lady doing the fryup. fortunately, there wasnt a queue at all. perhaps because it was the weekend and i was early? but one thing's for sure, one should always eat it fresh from the wok instead of having it to go. and maybe thats why it didnt taste as good as i thought it would be.


(B)

 

 

(C)

dats it. ttfn

3.20pm

 

 

what is time

 1.12pm



day 7. well hello there. TGIF!! phew we all made it thru the wkday didnt we. does feel different doesnt it? it being a friday vs it being a blue monday.

you know, come sunday late evening onwards, you'd start to feel a bit aggitated or perhaps a lil bit irritated even coz bloody monday is coming  up pretty soon. and u'd hv to drag yr feet(figure of speech) to start yr monday morning. then you blink a few  times, its already lunchtime and somehow u've managed to survive horrible monday. tuesday rolls along, you are getting into the swing of things at work(or play) n by wednesday, wow...its either you're having sum kinda mid week crisis or u'd be saying to yourself, "ok i can make it i can make it 2 more days to go till friday"!! yep..keep psyching yrself up so you dont crumble midway or wanting to stab yourself in the eye with a fork (i know that some of you wanna do just dat either to somebody at on point in time or perhaps to your ownself hey).

yes, we're all going thru that. do you realize that when you are having fun, time just flies. but when you are not having a ball, oh man...time just ticks by oh so slowly. check yr watch, its quarter to 5. then u continue doing yr work hoping that time will past faster and you dont want to tink abt it,until you check yr watch again..holy cow, its only 5 to 5!! omfg!! wat wat? only 10 bloody mins went by?? dayummmm. well u know what i mean. but come holidays or party time, u'd say, where the hell did time go?? huh wat? dats it? dats the end?!!

i wished that when i am having a good time, time would stand still(or move way slower than normal) and time to move faster when we arent having a blast or facing bad times. dont you agree? like now im counting down the days when i go back to my hometown for xmas and new year and to spend time with my family and friends. soon i know the day will come and then next thing i know, im already halfway thru the hols and then couple more blinks, its overrrrrrr!!! arrggh... and then its back to the drawing board. its always like that. just like the saying - all good tings must come to an end.  but then again, even the bad too. nothing lasts forever or does it? hmmm....

b4 i go, just one last thing i wanna add. do you realize dat monday is so far away from friday and friday is so close monday. sheeshhh. not fair! not fairrrrr!!


ok..ttfn


1.37pm

in the moment

11.42pm

day 5. friday is almost looming. another week going by. how fast time seem to fly by and by the time you know it, its xmas!! den new year! den chinese new  year! oh boy. do you think the world will end on 21 dec 2012? i hope the mayan predictions doesnt come true!

im currently packing up my crap and putting most of it into personal storage. i do dislike moving from place to place, or should i say condo to condo. its not like as if im moving to another country, coz honestly that would be awesome. i love experiencing the different cultures, different seasons(if any and depends where im heading to), way of life, food etc in each country that i visit or live in. so far i've only lived in jakarta, indonesia and singapore where i currently reside. 2 totally different countries/cities.

so ever heard a bomb go off ? yes, i have once, when i was still living in jakarta. trust me you do not want to hear it. its like a big BOOM going off, luckily in a distance from where i was living. the sliding doors of my balcony started to rattle for a few seconds after the bomb went off. at first i thought i was imagining it and then i got goosebumps. my next thought was - "oh oh...i think a bomb just went off not to far away". true enough, a few minutes later, my husband rang me up and asked if i was ok and naturally i said i was and then i asked him if a bomb had gone off. he's reply was yes. long story short that was an unexpected experience. ho hum.

and couple of years later, we moved to singapore. totally different environment. everything is super efficient and clean and more or less organized. i guess it does have its pros and cons. i've noticed that space is an issue. roads are narrower, viewed lots of properties but i must say some of them really blew me away(in a not so good way). i think that these developers just build for the sake of building. whats with the bay windows and planters? hello!! people need and want more living space not places to put plants or these so called bay windows! sheesh man. as it is the unit is already so small like say 500 sqft, and these clowns go and add in all the unnecessary. geez.

food wise, well you have alot of options to chose from. spoilt for choices really. but its repetitive especially after you've been to a few  of these food courts. and then u get "jelak". ( jelak means satiated by a food, particularly a food that is too rich, to the point that one feels repulsed by it) . one of these days i will start blogging abt the food i've tasted and i'll give my 2 cents worth. but for now, i'll just hang on to talking about a load of crap before moving onwards, ok?

alritey den.

ttfn


12.11am

rich folks

9.21pm

day 5. i tink im slowing down a bit. just watching E! and omg... its abt world's most expensive. hmm...imagine a sundae for USD2,500( includes edible gold paper and as a souvenir u get to keep an 18 karat encrusted gold spoon) or  custom made macaroons by a well known pastry chef for USD7,500, or a diamond dog collar by fifi and romeo in US dat cost only USD3.2 million !! i mean REALLY??? getouttahere!

with that kinda money that the rich and famous are splashing on, i think its such a waste and also kinda sinful. so many of us in the REAL world are facing tough times, dont know when our next meal would be or how to put food on the table for our families etc, so how on earth can these super rich folks, able to just spend money like its water and without even batting an eyelid. they havent faced tough times and dont know what tough times are and how hard it is to earn money. whats this trustfund babies and socialites..i doubt they can last long in the real working world, not working in daddy's company.

at times i wish i was half as rich as these people but then reality pulls me back down to earth with a BUMP. hey im only human alrite. i dare to admit it. you know, when i was working, money wasnt an issue and neither was spending. i work i spent i saved. dat was it. but now dat im a housewife, things are alot different. i've learnt to spend my money wisely and carefully and i try to get the best deal with minimum money spent.

dont get me wrong, i've nothing against RICH folks but sometimes they just get under my skin. flauting their wealth around. if you have any rich friends who does this, seriously if you see them, run the other way. my mom always taught me to be humble. "even if you have money, you dont have to show off or waste it even. always save for your rainy day", she'd say to me. you never know when that day will come. and i've always believed in this - god giveth, god taketh.  you see, even the rich can fall. one day you are a millionaire next day you are a pauper.  en voila!  its life for u.

okey dokey

ttffn

9.53pm

friendship

1.25pm


day 4.

just staring at the blank screen wondering wat the hell to write today. such a mix bag of thoughts running thru my head right now. hmm mayb i can talk abt friendship today. friends...aahh...sumtimes they make u laugh or cry and sumtimes u just wanna kill them but u cant coz u'd go to jail therefore u just put up wit them(because u love them!).

i hv many friends. but really, what are friends? are your friends there for you thru your darkest of times? or only just on your happier days or problem free days? so are they really your friends?? i think i have been thru quite a fair bit of ups and downs with sum of my oldest and dearest friends. sum in pretty bad state and sum not so bad. most have pulled out of it im glad. but sad to say, i've lost 2 close friends in my life. both news really caught me off guard. may their souls rest in peace.

friendship comes in many levels i guess. sum are very close to you where u can share almost everything with, sum just casual friends, sum you know you can just go out for a laugh with but dats it...well u get the picture. friends come and go and its the ones who have been by our side thru out, is the real deal. but having said that, they may just one day disappear too. no reasons given. they just fade away. dat i have learnt to accept but just wonder why sumtimes.

you know, we dont need a whole lot of friends to make our lives better or richer. if we r so lucky, we only  need just a handful and thats more than enough to keep us going for a lifetime.  fact is  people come and go in our lives. they come for either a short or long period of time. but whatever it is, we cherrish them and the friendship that's been made.

only recently, i just started talking to an old friend of mine who resides in canada. lost touch for a while there and finally got back to talking again, thanks to facebook of course! we go back a long way and when she rung me the other day, its like we never lost touch and we chatted away. it felt nice and no awkward moments or still air.

you know, you dont have to talk or see them constantly. if you hv to then i dont call those true friendship.(or rather true friends for that matter). i hv a couple of super close friends whom i hardly get to see coz we do not live in the same country (unfortunately) but whenever we do get a chance to meet up, its like as if we were never apart from each other. now dats what i call a deep and true friendship becoz without them, i think i'd gone stir crazy!




until nxt time,
ttfn

1.55pm

p/s... and to my dear friends, u know who u r :)

dedication to housewives

4.19pm

day 3. another imaginary list, ticked off from my head. grocery done. u know, lots of people tink dat being a housewife is so easy peasy. no worries, stress free, but whatever! whether u hv kids or not, it doesnt matter. being a housewife can get pretty tough at times. i do salute all you hsewives out there. juggling work(if you are working ), hsehold and kids (if you have any). and hey, our husbands too can behave like kid at times, dont u agree?

to be honest, some of my friends tink that im a "tai tai" ( tai tai is a chinese colloquial term for a wealthy married woman who does not work. it has the same euphemistic value as "lady" in English: sometimes flattery, sometimes a subtle insult). i always beg to differ coz im not one at all. and at times i do take it as an insult. it all depends on who says it to me and how many times a person calls me that. once, twice i can take it a joke but more than dat, an insult. i really do not like being called a "tai tai" at all period.

anyways, coming back to housewives, well, men should try putting themselves in our shoes and see how it feels. perhaps it could be a walk in the park for some but for others, some would say its a mundane and a thankless job. i say, its all abt getting used to it. i wasnt a housewife from day one ok. only in the last 7 years or so. for me, the perks of being a housewife is that i enjoy being left to my own devices. having my own quality time (wouldnt trade it for the world). from having bfast to playing with my dog to buying groceries at my own pace without any datelines or people hassling or harrassing me. downside is that i do not earn my own money and therefore have to depend on my husband.(but he's such a doll, bless him).

dont you sometimes wish you were a housewife too? but having said that, the grass aint always greener. once again i salute all mothers and housewives ard the world and to my own mom, thank you,thank you, thank you for everything you've done for me as well as for the family. i love you from the bottom of my heart.


ttfn

4.42pm

the list

3.21pm

hi there.day 2 of dis blog. seems dat im having sum problems here. my friends cant post their comments. wonder why. hv to get it fixed like asap. but who knows abt dis?? arrgghh

its a gloomy sunday afternoon. listening to 80s music on radio. really brings bk lots of fond memories. aint complaining. love da 80s! i grew up wit it. best of times i say.

i was tinking, our lives, well mine,( dunno abt yrs) i tend to make lists inside my head or just jot it down in case i forget. dont u do dat too? wen u lie down or just staring blankly into space, n  things start popping into yr head. i gotta do dis, oh crap i forgot to do dat, hv to pay dis n dat bill... only to realize u cud've paid it already...da list goes on and on until u either drift off to zzzz or just snap out of yr thoughts and get bk to wat u were initially doing or wanted to do. my life is made out of making an endless list inside my head. sigh

i tinks dats abt it frm me today. gonna just chill out to gud music n a nice cuppa.

ttfn

3.33pm

beginners blog

5.05pm

hello. um..thanks for coming to my page. i've only just created this. honestly i dont know what to write or how to begin (hmmm...wonder if i can  swear in here? ).

but anyway, my cousin(bless her) gave me this bright idea to start my own blog. so maybe im doing this just to humour her. fingers cross, i hope this will take off and i wont slack off and get lazy or bored with this blogging. this is gonna be a mix bag of my thoughts, photos of stuff i've baked or cooked(may throw in some receipes), photos of things, buildings, scenery, fashion, food... etc and well basically just about anything and everything. you get the picture. gonna be really "rojak". ( for those who dont know what rojak means - rojak is a traditional fruit and veggie salad dish commonly found in indonesia, malaysia and singapore. the term "rojak" is malay, for mixture).

should be a laugh i thinks.  so lets just see what im gonna be saying or doing next. stay tuned, if you wanna.

ttfn
5.26 (after previewing this for the 2nd time) oh gawwwdddd