shouldn't we count our blessings?

12.33pm


aaah..its Monday again. somehow I managed to live thru another week. a lot of people didn't. everyday I get up, the moment I open my eyes, I think - oh im still alive, not dead yet. so whats installed for me today? - and my day begins. what about you? whats the first thing you think of when you open your eyes?

you know, I try to tell myself well remind myself of my blessings. sometimes we all tend to forget what we already have but instead wanting more and more. as humans, I guess not all of us are satisfied with what we've got/given. don't you agree?

sometimes its not whether its wrong or right, in wanting more. I guess there's a grey line.  it all depends on each situation and how you tackle it. if its for a bad purpose, then your conscience should be pricking you constantly by now. and if its for a good cause, then carry on and aim high.

the other day I was talking to my mom and we were talking about our family and friends taking trips abroad, travelling and seeing the world. oh how nice! I wished I could go too, somewhere. I admit I envied these people although I don't constantly think about it but if the word "travel" "holiday" "vacation" should pop up, there I go again, feeling like the world is on my shoulders. and then I heave a big huge SIGH. cant go. that's the answer, cant bloody go.

its not that we don't have the money to travel but well we just purchased our new home and we aint millionaires therefore we have to  pay the  monthly instalments which mind you, is a bit hefty if you asked me. but what to do. the husband says - "we gotta prioritize! not always thinking of holidaying!! go earn some money first, then we can go..well you can go!"  AISHH!!

and that's when my mom tells me that I should be so lucky. a lot of people are homeless, jobless,  cant even afford to go anywhere, losing their loved ones etc. I know what mom says is true but sometimes  I just don't know. there's a part of me is that is still that little child who is stubborn and want her way. but alas, I have to think rationally about the whole situation and calm down and push the thought away from my mind. ah reality bites.

and you know what( ok, this has nothing to do with counting my blessings, im straying a bit here hahaha), only recently I had a dream that I was experiencing my first snow fall and so happened my husband was in my dream too and I was like nudging him(in the dream of course!) and going "oi oi...its snow! its bloody snowing!" and I was so happy(in my dream ya!). can you imagine that? in my freaking dream I can even dream of snow! yes, I have experienced winter before during my travels but never saw or felt snow!

the other day, my grandmother who is wheelchair bound, told me woefully  how she wished she could walk. but theres not much strength left in both her legs now. I did mention I think in my previous blog that my paternal grandmother is 95! that's why I think I should count my blessings because one day I may not be able to walk or move around as freely as I can.

a very good friend of mine lost his sight to severe diabetes. he has also lost part of his hearing too. back in the day, we would hang out together, a small group of us, going dancing, out for a good meal or just out for drinks. today, he sits at home whilst his wife has to be the breadwinner and support the family. what do you think he wishes for?

theres a whole lot of situations when we all should count our blessings and not take things or people for granted. we should always cherish what we have around us, the people and the things, our pets etc. one moment they are there, next POOF gone.

another example is our body. most of us tend to take our bodies for granted. oh whats there to worry about, we can see, eat, smell, walk, run etc but have we ever stopped and wondered what if one day we lost those things? our senses? mobility? even our minds? what then? lets say for example, you accidentally cut your last finger or thumb whilst cutting a fruit or veggie ok, then when its like plastered up and all and you continue to go about with your daily routine and you realize something, that hey, you do need to use your pinky/thumb. and then it hits you, you've taken even your fingers for granted. isn't it true? or another example is something happens to some part of your body and only then would you realize how important that that part is to you.

that's why I don't understand why on earth people want to have plastic surgery or put tattoos or piercings on their bodies. there are many things in this world I do wonder  about and question. everybody has their own reasons why they wanna do such things. to me its just destroying our own bodies, mutilating it. not respecting it at all. isn't there a saying - your body is your temple - ?

money too can be taken for granted. you think it will always be there. but my friends, think again. even a millionaire or billionaire can go bankrupt!

well go think about it. look at your life and TRY not to grumble or bitch about it so much. lets all try to look at those less fortunate or not as lucky as we are.

ok ttfn

1.13pm

happy mothers day

5.01pm

so its mother's day today and I would like to take this opportunity to wish all mothers out there who have dedicated their lives and sacrificed a lot in bringing up their kids without much fuss. kudos to you and you ought to pat yourselves on your back.

im not a mother per se but as you all know by now, I have my lil furkid so therefore I would like to think of me as the mother to my dog. hahahaha...go figure.

I would like to also take this opportunity to thank my own mom for being the "bestest" mom ever. I will not  trade her for anything. I guess no one really would in their right frame of mind. well my mom is my rock. she has never failed me. she is always there to encourage me, to push me to be a better person, dispensing advise (be it necessary or unnecessary hahaha)  etc. and yet she never really grumbles or bitch about her own life. she's always giving and never asking anything back in return. sadly not all mothers are like that. is yours like mine too?

you know, when I was growing up, I used to think that my mom was such a strict person compared to my dad. mom was the drill sergeant whereas dad was mr cool. its like good cop bad cop. when I chat with my mom and talk about the good ol days, she would always nag at me and my brother(but more so, me) to go and study (especially during exam period) and I really disliked studying and I would quietly sneak out of my room(and when I say sneak out meaning my head would peek out from behind a wall that separates the hall to my room) and try to watch tv (whatever my folks are watching) and if I remember correctly, sometimes I would get caught by my mom (who else) and I would get an earful from her. dad however, is the exact opposite of mom, and he would tell my mom to chill and let "the kids" watch some tv. told ya he was mr cool. hahaha..but now on hindsight now I know why my mom wanted us to study hard as it was for our own sakes and also for the sake of our own future.

so anyways, as you can probably tell by now, I come from a close knitted family, as there's only 4 of us - my mom, dad, brother and myself. and as I got older and ahem! more wiser, I sometimes think about death. I have lost a few loved ones whilst growing up but in the past decade or so, I have lost my sister in law, my very good friend and my grandmother. I loved them all very much and seeing them lying there in their coffins really hit me pretty hard. I know that I wont be seeing them  or talking to them ever again(but perhaps after I die or who knows in my next life, I don't know). its really so sad. and even till today, these images still haunt me and I don't know if I ever will get over losing them. I am fully aware however, that we all have to go sooner or later but wouldn't it just be nice that if that wasn't the case at all? that we could all live for a very long time!

so back to my mom. this woman has dedicated her life to the family. through the ups and downs in our lives whist growing up and till today, she is still pushing on. I know for a fact that she is one amazing woman. and you know what, im so glad that GOD has chosen her to be my mommy. even as a young adult back then, I never really gave much thought about my mom although yes I know how hard she has worked and saved just to provide for us all and never giving up on us and kept staying positive. but then everything suddenly changed when I had to move away.

I had to teach my mother how to use the msn chat (later skpye) so that we could keep in touch.  and from that day onwards we've been staying in touch with each other via Skype, every few days, to catch up on gossip, what we've both done etc. my mom bless her, has given much of her life to her work and to taking care of the family. she has also taken care of my sis in law as well as her own mother, who passed away late last year. my grandmother too was such a sweetheart. such a cheerful and happy go lucky woman. she's never worked in her life(as my grandfather was the breadwinner) and she was a homemaker taking care of 5 kids! just like my mom, she was always giving and never asking back in return. as long we are all happy.

growing up we were never rich. we were just an average income family. like most families out there, trying to make both ends meet. it was tough and rough those days but now its  over thank god. I remember that what I wanted I usually got. of course I don't ask for elaborate or expensive stuff.

mom's cooking too was the best. she learnt from my grandmother. even till today whenever I come back home, my mom would always ask me what I would like to eat and she will cook it for me. sometimes I would tell her that I want her fried chicken(secret receipe of course!) or kai lan with Chinese wine (yummy! one of my fav dishes) etc. that's how "spoilt" I am. well mom doesn't only "spoil" me but my brother too. we both get what we want especially when it comes to food.

now since im based in Singapore, thankfully my brother is around to pop by  to check up on my parents and spend time with them when he's free. I worry sometimes for my folks too. oh ya talking about death (some paragraphs earlier), im very scared of losing my parents, especially my mom because im very close to her. what would I do? I know life goes on even after they've gone. can I cope? would I break down? would I go mental? I really don't know and I try to shrug it off and brush it aside. but I still cant help thinking about it, you know. mom has lost her mom and I know it must have been very painful for her because like my situation, she was also close to her mom too. sigh

anyways, one day I will blog about my grandmother. honestly she is such a darling. but that's for another day ok. today's blog is to thank my mom from the bottom of my heart and words just express the gratitude that I feel towards her for all that she's done from the day I was born. I really am so thankful and that she is GOD sent. I must be so lucky.

so all of you who are reading this blog, I hope your mothers are just as good as mine and really you ought to treasure them when they are still alive and kicking not after they have kicked the bucket. and this not only goes to mothers but fathers, brothers, sisters, wives, husbands etc. life is so fragile and at anytime death will come knocking on your door and when time is up its up. no second guessing about it. so do cherish your loved ones when they are alive!!

thanks for reading and once again, happy mothers day to all!! god bless!!


ttfn


5.43pm

responsibility to your fellow countrymen

4.37pm


well very recently my home country held their elections and as usual(not surprising) the current ruling party won. in any case, it was an all out war between the opposition and the ruling party. nothing new there either. but oh, the drama!

anyways, there was a lot of of campaigning or as the locals call it "ceramahs" (talks) given in hopes to gain votes from the general public, with lots of hoo-haa from both sides. whether fact or fiction,(i don't know coz im not into politics and please for goodness sake do not quote me on any of what's being mentioned here because its from my point of view) i don't really care but what makes my temper boil is the words that's spewing out of their mouths. all nonsense and sometimes the things they say, you don't know whether to laugh, cry, be embarrassed( that such things can even be uttered) or just go HUH??? WTF??

they don't play a fair game, not as "transparent" as we think they are. i guess everyone are for themselves. they have to look after their "rice bowl". when push comes to shove, do you think these people are thinking for others or for themselves only? go figure. its so easy to say that "they" are actually for the people/country but come on really, who are you trying to kid here? do you expect me to buy into that bullshit?

its really sad to see that after all the bullshitting and pulling the wool over the publics eye, "they" can turn around and say something nasty. i really do think that is downright rude and well, if you call yourself a "matured adult" with god given brains to think, i seriously think then, you have to go check yourself in to the mental institution and get your head sorted out.

do you realize that words spoken cannot be retracted or erased. its not like a laptop or computer where you can delete and erase what you are typing. its not that simple. yes, you can ask for forgiveness but deep down, do you really think you are forgiven entirely? no way!! the public don't forget so easily especially when nasty and mean things are being said about them when its not 100% true. i think there are some shit stirrers out there that's creating all this nonsense. getting the country riled up, probably over nothing. but sometimes its hard to say. whether whats being said is true or false and whether you chose to believe or not. entirely up to each individual to decide for themselves.

i am saddened to think that this is currently happening in a developing country. one hand, they want to move forward but on the other hand, they are moving 3 steps backwards. to me, when you say one country one nation, it means everyone is joined/united as one. don't you agree? but I don't think that that is the case here.

who died and made them god huh? what makes them so special? how do they even sleep at night when they can be so mean, greedy and spiteful towards others? I thought we all have some kind of guilt conscience inside us, telling us that we have done wrong and then try to make right? well I guess not all of us have that. sigh

you know, i voted during the last election and quite frankly, it wasted my time. my neighbourhood had gotten from bad to worst and when i say that i meant that the crime rate has gone up, the filth around the neighbourhood is really disgusting and the morons that double park along the shop lots and housing area have been causing major traffic jams. once upon a time it was such a peaceful place to live in. now , we even have pay for our security. meaning to say, each household has to fork out say $100 just to hire a security guard to stand by in our housing area 24/7  to look out for crime, suspicious person/s or whatever. yes, it has come to that. we don't even feel safe in our own home!! houses have been just ransacked in broad daylight. can you beat that? so i ask you, what is my government doing about it? mind you, its not only  happening in my area but also in and around the city and other neighborhoods as well.

don't talk about that, talk about kidnapping , car jacking and rape cases in parking lots in big shopping malls! oh my god!! and pray tell, what is the police doing about it? isn't this not serious enough? im not saying that by a miracle they have to clear up all this crap up that's going on but  at least put it under control. to me, i reckon that everything is just being swept under the rug and giving a million and one excuses! once again, trying their luck to pull the wool over our eyes and hoping that the public will eventually forget about all of this and move on.

aah...sorry for all the venting. i just had to let it out. and this is my outlet. as i said before these are  my thoughts and opinion. do not quote me on any of this. in future i do hope you choose wisely for the people you want running your country. don't be afraid to question them. and make sure that what they have promised, will be delivered instead of getting lots of empty promises.

before I end I would like to say this. when you want to do something good, do it willingly and not expect to get anything in return. no one forced or coerced you in the first place. and when you do that something, do it with an open mind and heart,  and you will be rewarded. but in this case, its expected that "they" expect something in return. oh well. c'est la vie



ok until my next blog,

ttfn


5.34pm