if you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all

6.01pm


very good evening to you readers. well another week gone by and the weekend is approaching fast. aigoo. guess nobody can do anything about it but just live in the moment right?

regarding my topic for today. its basically what ronan keating sang - "you say it best when you say nothing at all." fact is this. sometimes people just talk for the sake of talking or they just love to hear their own voice rather than others. motormouth in my opinion.

have you ever come across your friends, family or even relatives who would ask you stupid questions like -

1) if you are not married - "so when are you getting married?" (not knowing the whole situation with your own love life or if you even have one. sometimes it can irritate a person when asked that question because its personal and whose business is it anyway, right?)

2) if you are married - "so when are you going to have children? don't wait too long ok, have them before its too late" (even lets say you have one kid already, they would ask you to have the 2nd or 3rd etc OR if you just got hitched, that's what they will ask the following year if they see you)

3) asking you to go on a holiday "hey, you should go on holiday when you can still walk bla bla bla". excuse me, is it any of your business if I do or don't go on a holiday? are you paying for me? who doesn't want to go for one I ask you? do they know that sometimes some people have got budget constraints, bills to pay, children to feed etc? so easy for them to talk. they don't know what goes on behind closed doors. they only see what they see or think that they are so smart by going on vacations. well good for them then if they can afford it. others cant. most of us have to prioritize. if I had extra cash lying around, don't you think I would be the first one in line to book a trip around the world, that I need you to tell me? try asking a beggar this question and see what his reply is.

to me, all these questions are private(especially 1&2) and its really none of anybody's business but between yourself and your significant half. my parents and even my own mom in law doesn't ask me questions like that. but some relatives have asked me why don't I have kids and well frankly I will answer them nicely and tell them that we don't want any kids. of course, I would then get follow up questions like why bla bla bla. ugh.. why should I explain myself to them I wonder. like I owe them an explanation. what? are they going to pay for the kid/s expenses and education and bring them up? like sponsors? if that's the case, hey I don't really mind then but I have to check with my hubby don't I? but in any case, Im not some charity case.

people talk rubbish all the time. and seriously sometimes it gets to me when such nonsense is coming out of their mouth. let me tell you, ever since I stopped work middle of 2004 and became a housewife, many have asked and told me "so what do you do everyday?", "go and find something to do", "since you are so free, why not look for some part time work?", "why not do some online business?" etc  honestly, do you even know what you are asking? is there something wrong in being a housewife? am I committing a crime here? and also do you ask any housewife each time you see her, "so what is it that you do?" helloooo..are you that blur??? or do you like talking for the sake of talking?

you know, I have gone thru stress when I was working. I know what stress is all about and mind you even when im not working I get stressed easily. my proof is that I have hair fall unfortunately and my body behaves strangely at times. perhaps its my hormones changing due to my age (sigh) but then again, I reckon its more to stress. now, you wonder, what kinda stress does a housewife have? go figure! until you are one yourself (or a househusband), then you tell me. don't knock it till you've tried it ok.

and trust me, I have not much regrets not working. its not like im some over achiever that I have and need to prove to others that im some hot shot CEO or GM etc. I don't need all those fancy smancy titles. god no! I just work to earn a buck or two and im thoroughly happy. I don't live in a chic and fancy uptown apartment, nor do I own a luxury car or go on expensive holidays. I lead a pretty simple life when I was working and even now when im not. I just try to adjust and learn to adapt wherever I am at.

the only tiny regret that I have is not being able to earn my own money when I was so used to it before I stopped work. other than that, I still enjoy life and what has been given to me by my dear old husband. it wasn't easy to uproot my whole life from my home country where I've lived for 30 over years and then moving to another country with just my husband. from being surrounded by family and friends to having none around and then starting fresh. how would you like that?

that's why I have grown accustomed to being by myself and not going out and even trying to make new friends. yes, when I first moved away, I wanted to try that but it was difficult. not so easy as you get older. having kids would have been a bit easier as that was an ice breaker in striking up a conversation with ladies. one can always talk about their own kids with another who has versus those who don't. different wavelength.

after all that's said and done, I wished that sometimes people would stop and think before opening up their mouth when they are talking to someone. it can be your friends or family members. so please try to give a thought  as to whether they would like what is going to be said to them by you (and how would you like it if it was said back to you). don't just talk for the sake of talking. you never know when you have offended a person(if they don't tell you) or if you have overstepped the boundary.

words can either hurt or soothe a person, therefore just mind yourself and think before you speak and try to be sensitive to others before speaking. nobody likes a chatterbox or an empty vessel . then you wont get into trouble, otherwise it will be like a foot in your mouth scenario. think about it.


ttfn


6.42pm